Thursday, October 14, 2010

One of "Those" Conversations

We had one of “those” conversations the other day. You adoptive parents will know what I mean. One of those awkward, sends-you-into-stuttering-and-utter-amazement-at-people kind of conversations.

We were shopping, and all 5 of us were together, which isn’t a common occurrence nowadays because M and I usually do most of the shopping/errand running while MJ and K are at preschool. But anyway, here we are in the check-out line at Target, and our cashier first tells us how cute our kids are and asks how old they are. I told her that they were 4 1/2, 3, and 17 months. Fairly normal discourse so far...

Then the question, “Did you adopt her or is she yours?” {Ummmm...did I just hear that right?} Thankfully, my husband thinks on his feet better than I do, and said, “She is ours, and yes, we adopted her.” Keep in mind, MJ is very much old enough and intelligent enough to comprehend this conversation. If things had dropped there, then that would have been fine, but the cashier kept going on and on. Hubby displayed extreme amounts of patience in answering her questions succinctly, in a way that gave valid answers without giving out too much overly personal information. I was just ready to pay for our purchases and leave. Then, the part we weren’t really expecting...the cashier told us that she also was adopted. Come to find out, she was adopted at age 15, along with 3 siblings. So, I guess that does give her a different perspective than most people have. I’m still trying to figure out what to make of the whole conversation, but that knowledge did make me more sympathetic. There’s not a lot of profound wisdom to come from this...just needed to vent/share with a sympathetic audience.

If it has been said once, it has been said a thousand times, but I’ll say it again...An adopted child is just as much a parent’s own child as a biological child. The only distinction is in the way they joined the family.

1 comment:

  1. I had a conversation similiar at the local Burger King bathroom! I was starting to become very irritated until this women in her late 50's announced that she was also an adoptee from Korea and her siblings were from China and Korea. I softened but I think because I felt a little sorry for her. I wonder is it just the child's nature or did the parents miss providing something? Makes me worry more about how I respond to my daughter.