"I Miss Them"

Well, I said I was going to write this blog post the day this conversation happened, but I’m just now getting around to it. All of this actually took place on the morning of September 22, so I’m only a week and a half behind on sitting down to type this out. With that in mind, I hope I can remember enough of the details...

On that Thursday morning, I was in the van with MJ and M. We had dropped K off at her school and were on the way to MJ’s school. I don’t remember all of the details about the conversation I was having with MJ, but it was a fairly normal morning-on-the-way-to-school discussion with a 5 year old who likes to talk A LOT and ask A LOT of questions.

So as we are sitting in the (very long) car rider line at her elementary school, MJ asks, “How did I get in China?” So, I gave her the most straightforward answer I could, which was, “You were born there. Your birthparents lived there, so that is where you were born.”

We have talked about birthparents a number of times before, but it has been awhile (other than reading her lifebook) since we have really discussed it. The rest of our conversation went something like this:

MJ: Well, where are they now?

Me: As far as I know, they are still in China. We may never know more than that, though.

MJ: I miss them.

[At this point, internally, I was saying, “Wow...” Once again, I was faced with the reality of all my 5 1/2 year old daughter has gone through in her short lifetime.]

Me: Well, you know what? It is perfectly okay for you to miss them. Just remember that the reason they were not able to take care of a baby had nothing to do with you. Sometimes there are very grown-up problems and decisions that have nothing to do with children.

Me: Are you okay?

MJ: I’m fine, Mama.

Me: I love you, MJ.

MJ: I love you, too, Mama.

And then, I dropped her off at school, just like any other day, saying an extra prayer that she really would be fine. And she was...

[As an added note, I’m pretty sure she told me more than once in the course of that conversation that she missed her birthparents, but I waited too long to write this post. Note to self...write the post the day the event happens.]